Confessions of a Bad Rotarian

Tom O’Connor Announcements

by Tom O’Connor, Rotary Club of Columbia-Metro

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As a Rotarian, I have some confessions to make…

My attendance record, I’ll discuss for a start:
I’m here less than Norm, but more than Susan Hart

In Columbia Metro, the standard is high, and keeping up’s not easy
I’m not near as stylish as Bill Costello, but I am almost as cheesy

Often, I barely know what’s going on, but I try and get the gist
And sometimes I applaud politely for announcements I completely missed

Rotary clubs help communities, which makes me feel like a jerk
Volunteering to solve problems that I helped create at work

With near a hundred members, I’m consistently baffled
At just how quickly it’s my turn for the raffle

I don’t get excited about ringing the bell
I read to the kids once, but it didn’t go well

I somehow miss fun socials, despite friends and booze
I need two reminders before I pay my dues

But I do come through with a win from time to time
Water tanks and wells ‘round the world with little “Columbia Metro” signs

And everything went great when we hosted the Panamanians
We showed off our town and told them of Van Halen

Around the world, Rotary helps people, wherever they’re at
In my own, tiny, way, I contribute to that

And though I can do better, and I certainly should,
Even a bad Rotarian is still pretty good